I Despise.

You know what I despise. I despise Visionnaires who are so full of themselves. I have no idea if the word visionnaire even exists, I came up with it on my own, due to what I have been and still am going through..I'm always coming up with my own words, I think I can have my own Qillz Dictionary..Hehehh..

Anyway, according to my own dicitionary, a Visionnaire is :
A person who has high hopes, and such enormous visions of making something happen that he/she gets others to be involved in it, but leaves after not even half the vision is accomplished. You might ask, what type of vision? It's the type that seems so big, but at the same time, it's pretty hard to achieve, meaning it requires major sacrifice.You'd know, when you hear it.

Don't get me wrong, I actually admire people with huge visions. When I first met the first visionnaire I know, I was inspired by the person, the way he/she talked and the way he/she planned things out. I started sensing that something wasn't right when I was asked to this one task so many times, that eventhough I've told her/him that there is NO WAY that task could be solved, that person still kept asking me why, and if there's any other way. Believe me, I sacrificed a lot of my time trying to make that task happen, till I reached to a point where I knew, nothing could be done. However, the visionnaire, wasn't satisfied. He/she made things look as if I hadn't done it right. That got me really PISSED.

At first, I took it as his/her way of encouraging people. But then, it got old. It got SO OLD I felt like slapping him/her everytime he/she commented on the things I was doing. I tried voicing out some problems I was concerned about, he/she agreed with my opinion, but immediately turned things back on me, saying that the problem lies in setting our priorities right and giving a stable commitment. That sentence made me feel like crap, as if I hadn't been doing that all this while.

Now, everything seems off-schedule. And he/she's already passing most of the work to me and the rest of the others.

I still get stressed out, that I sometimes cry everytime I think about it. It's still not over yet. I'm glad there are others out there who understand , and are willing to hear me out. I'll just have to get through this with as much faith as I can get.

Phewwhh. That felt great.